Incapacitated
The following is a post I composed but never published way back in November. For some reason, the whole trauma of my accident was not something I entirely felt like sharing. It is interesting for me to now look back at how I was feeling at the time. My finger has since healed and is absolutely lovely. I have not touched the wood splitter since, nor do I ever plan to again.
Many of you know that I recently had an accident. It was not a life-threatening accident, but rather what I would call “serious” accident. Two weeks ago yesterday, I crushed my right index finger in the log splitter. Stupid Kris. Rule #1 in using the hydraulic log splitter would be “DO NOT PUT YOUR HAND IN THE MACHINERY WHILE THE PISTON IS PUSHING FORWARD.” Oops. My bad.
The bone at the end of my finger was crushed (1st time I ever broke a bone!). However, worse yet was the damage to the flesh of the upper half of my finger. The extreme pressure on it as it was caught between the flat edge (thankfully!!!!) of the splitter and the slowly moving log caused my soft tissue to just kind of POP open in several big, gaping gashes. Think popped grape or squashed banana. There was very little bleeding (compared to what you might expect), leaving the injury very open for detailed viewing. One should never have to view the pink flesh inside of one’s own body. It was very gnarly and unexpected. (The incident itself was over and I was free from the splitter in a mere fraction of a second. Afterward, although I was afraid to remove my leather glove to inspect the damage, I honestly expected to find nothing worse than a purple fingernail!) The orthopedic doctor on call basically pulled it all back together with stitches, both internal and external, and reassembled my poor finger in the ER. The nail was put back in place in its bed and sewed on to (hopefully) keep the bed functioning and growing new nail. It was an unpleasant process. The bone will either mend or be absorbed by my body. Most of the damaged flesh will survive, and with some luck, any area that does not will be small enough that I will not require a skin graft. Wish me luck with that, folks, please.
Worry not, for I am on the mend, and I have learned a lot since then, besides the obvious NEVER BREAK RULE #1 WHEN USING A HYDRAULIC LOG SPLITTER. I have learned compassion for those who are injured or have experienced trauma. I have learned how very disconcerting it is to not have your body whole. I have learned that our bodies are very soft and vulnerable. I have learned that index fingers are very useful, especially for tasks required for personal grooming and also when cutting vegetables or doing any food prep in the kitchen. I have learned that take-out food and processed foods are not my cup of tea. I have learned that ibuprofen can be my friend. I have learned to be grateful in times like this, for it could definitely be a lot worse. I have learned that I love my index finger. I have learned that when I am not able to fully perform my job as a stay-at-home-mom that it makes me very sad and frustrated. I have learned that when things are going great, we sometimes don’t realize how lucky we are and how fragile is the balance that keeps these things going great.
And I am now struggling to learn patience with my body as it very slowly heals and faith that it will heal.
Incidentally, I have also learned that pictures of a gnarly injury may not really do it justice. It has been difficult to capture this thing on film. We did not take any photos until day10, although John wanted to snap a picture in the ER (after I had received a good dose of morphine (aaah…) and been nerve-blocked [OUCH!!!!!] and was somewhat relaxed) but was for some reason dissuaded by the doctor. Here is a link to some pictures, if you dare to click.
The series of pictures was never posted. Be thankful.
1 commentMay 8th, 2012
